“广告与质量”７分作文严师点评

In recent years, an increasing number of organisations have been using advertisement as one of their popular marketing promotion tool. Consequently, people become more and more confused about the characteristic of ads. The issue of whether ads provide audiences with the quality of the merchandise or just tempt customers to purchase them has aroused wide concern in which people retain different views. Before presenting my attitude, it is essential to analyse both sides of the hot issue.

开头很好，arouse wide concern 也可做　arouse colossal concern, tempt to ,也可做　can hardly resist the temptation(老外更喜欢词组喔＾＿＾），both sides , 也可　diverse perspective,看：你也可写出经典开头的啊！

Opponents point out that the aim of advertisement as a sales method is for promoting the goods. In the other words, enterprises use TV, magazines, newspapers and other kind of media to attract people’s eyes to buy in great number of what they produce. According to a latest survey compiled by Marketing, ads could increase sales quantity by 15-25 per cent normally. Some people including parts of general public and a minority of authorities argue that a considerable amount of advertisements existing in our daily life trend to push more consumption instead of informing consumers the quality of goods. That is to say, ordinary people should face more challenges and risks to distinguish from goods to goods because they totally have no idea about the real trait of them.

attract换成allure,用词就更到位．trait与开头　characteristic替换很好，当然你也可以写attribute ,feature.face challenges 可用confront challenges and encouter problems等来改进，论证手法上，引进数据是可以的，但如果能举实例，会加深印象与说服力，语言总体不错．

In contrast, advocates hold strong belief that advertisement not only promotes the quantity of goods but also the quality. Furthermore, in some extent, ads are more likely to stand for the status of the very company. The director of Unilever, an international company, recognises that quality is always the most valuable thing, and it is the premise of surviving in this competitive business environment. Advertisement is the very tool to upgrade the brand and also boost the merchandise in quantity. The quantity of one range of goods is not the point at any time, while the sales performance of the whole product portfolio is. The figure from Economist indicates that 78 per cent of advertisement raises the degree of band successfully.

more likely to stand for the status 可做tend to upgrade the image and status of the manufacturer."quality is always the most valuable thing"可做Quality is deemed as the intangible yet valuable economic asset .接着用列举数据法，语言虽不错，但论证手法略嫌单一．

In the final analysis, both sides have reasonable foundations. As far as I am concerned, I will not hesitate to subscribe to the opinion of the latter that is advertisement promotes the quality of goods.

恩，reasonable,还有我在所有班都念叨的 sensible, rational, advisable, 我们反复条件反射的表达一定是每篇文章都需要的经典营养．双中还可根据不同的厂商分类，有的sense of responsibility，business integrity意识很强，有的则money-oriented and near-sighted: 广告促销后所得收入本应该用于进一步提升产品质量,但由于厂商态度不同,完全会产生两种截然不同的结果!对大家来说这样写可能更容易展开论证！小５大６，推陈出新一下吧 ......                 ＾＿＾！

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